Competition
A few days ago I was talking with a guy at my affiliate about Wrestling and how arduous and mentally draining the sport is. We talked about the practices and the frightening pain and agony the body is required to endure in this dreadful sport. Consequently, I was brought back to relive my short time and experience with wrestling. However, when ever I look back to my short career with wrestling I hardly remember the pain of the practices or even the pressure of having to make weight. Rather I recall the pressure and anxiety every match, tournament and competition brought to me. My first season wrestling was disappointing  to say the least. The only "impressive" success I had was making the Varsity team in my high school after some success in Junior Varsity. However, by the end of the season, I had wrestled the most matches out of anyone else on my team, but I also had the most losses with a record of 2- 22...

By time the end of the season came around, I started training with the team in the spring with the mind-set to do much better the following season. But once the approach of the new season came around, I became so anxious and so nervous that I couldn't handle the pressure of competing in such a grueling environment again. So what happened? I quit. I walked up to my coach and told him "I quit"... See my problem wasn't the sport in of itself; rather, it was the pressure of having to walk out onto the competition floor all alone without relying on teammates to get me out of a tough situation. I knew how to wrestle but I didn't know how to compete. As a result; I went through the rest of my high school career feeling sorry for myself and coming up with excuses as to why I didn't wrestle any longer. The fact of the matter; I was a coward not only because I had given up but also because I didn't want to admit defeat.

A year and a half ago, I felt a large void in my life. I felt as though I needed an outlet to use my passions and talents towards. That's when I discovered CrossFit. I remember watching a video about the Games and the competition side of CrossFit and wanting to learn more. I went about searching for as much information as I could about the Games, the athlete's, the event's, anything I could to learn more about the sport in of itself.

One day I heard about the Open, at first I felt apprehensive and unsure about whether or not I really wanted to risk signing up. I was afraid of that same failure and defeat that I faced in wrestling. I was afraid that competing would only bring about further heart ache. I remember thinking that "there is no point in competing, I won't do well." Immediately when that moment came, when I was on the verge of saying "no I won't sign up;" I came across a photo on facebook... It was a picture of all my old wrestling teammates who had competed all through high school and were at that point seniors... captains... each holding an armful of trophies and awards. The past years had brought them such success that most of them earned scholarships or are still traveling to compete in the sport they loved. Looking at that I realized all that I had missed and all the promise I had thrown away. I knew that I could have been in that group with that same success, but I wasn't, all because I let one bad season get me down, all because I was scared to be defeated...  that experience left me feeling the most regret than I have ever felt before in my young life.

So what did I do? I took a risk, I signed up for the Open, I worked my butt of in the Summer and the off- season. I came back to CrossFit Hardcore and trained to compete. I went to regional's with the best team of individuals out there. But all of that only prepared me for what I experienced during the "Beast Mode" competition this past weekend. You see, I haven't competing in an individual environment in a stadium, under the lights, and the support of a crowd since I wrestled. So as you can imagine, I was a little anxious on how I would hold up. Granted, I knew that this competition wasn't anything significant. It didn't count towards or have any merit to the Games. None the less, it was still an individual competition, and I wanted to perform well.

After the first event, which was to find a one rep max of a Bear Complex, I remember sitting down smiling. I had surpassed the amount of weight I was expecting to lift, with a weight of 275 pounds deadlifted, cleaned, pressed and squatted multiple times in one movement. With the first event over and waiting for the second event, I felt indescribable joy and satisfaction. I knew that I made the right decision to take the risk to compete alone on that stage. I felt calm, I felt relaxed, all anxiety and feelings of nervousness or inadequacy had gone away. I didn't care where I placed at the end of the competition, I only cared that I put forth the effort.

The other events rolled by, and eventually I walked out of the stadium feeling satisfied... I ended up 20th in the event. Of course I wish I had placed higher, but the placement didn't matter because I finally knew that I could let go of the fear of competing and move on.

Competition either makes or breaks athletes. You can be a great athlete but be a lousy competitor. When I wrestled, I had the raw talent to do well and succeed. I had the drive and work ethic to do well. But once the pressure was on, once the training really mattered. My fears, my anxiety, my mind got the best of me and I would completely freeze up when the referee blew their whistle. CrossFit has given me a way to conquer that fear and obstacle. I realize now what people mean when they say that CrossFit is a competition against oneself.

My biggest accomplishment of the weekend: being the highest ranked teenager. I'm a boy among men.

Don't ever feel apprehensive or nervous to compete. Competition is one of many ways to see who you really are and what your made of. If failure comes, no big deal...

Remember: Thomas Edison failed 2000 times before making the light bulb.